Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson -- Two Boobs Johnson.
Schmidt: You're totally ready for it. I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like -- Ok -- First of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave.
Jess: Pink wine makes me slutty.
Jess: I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh I'm going to milk my cows.
Jess: She's going to find a rebound. Who's that girl? It's Jess.
Nick: Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?
Waitress: You're all on a date?
Nick: Yeah, we're her boyfriends. We're reverse Mormons -- one guy just isn't enough for her.